My journey with Christ began at a young age. I have grown up in a Christian home, spending a lot of my childhood at church kid’s clubs and youth group. My first memory of making an intentional decision to follow Christ whole heartedly came when I was 12 years old. From then on, and into my high school years, I grew steadily in my journey with God, learning about my identity in Him and what He wanted for my life. I attended influential Bible studies, and was a counselor at a Christian summer camp throughout my high school years.

Unfortunately during this time, the church I attended with my family went through a rocky separation that created large changes in my faith community. I found it increasingly difficult to attend church and after my last summer of camp stopped going all together. I also stopped reading my Bible and praying. I went on what I now call a “hiatus” from my journey with God from grade 12 until halfway through my second year at McMaster.

During that period I never got into any stereotypical ‘trouble’, but I lost who I was in Christ and did not know how to gain it back. I attended Lift occasionally, because I knew it was what I was supposed to do, but I felt that because I had been ignoring God’s voice for so long He would never forgive me for ignoring him for two years. However, God had never given up on me.

At the beginning of second year in the hopes of building real relationships, I committed myself to serving at Lift on a weekly basis. Through this God really began to soften my heart. He gradually, patiently, and gently brought me back to Him. He told me that He loved me no matter how broken my heart was and that He longed for me to be in His presence, not the world’s.

He allowed me to see myself through His eyes – not as a disobedient, obstinate child, but as a pure and perfect child. I learned the beauty of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross; I did not have to fix my hardened heart before I recommitted it to God, Christ had done that work for me. I just had to let God have a peek inside and do His thing.

I learned that Christ did not die so that people can fix themselves. He died so that people may surrender broken, hard hearts and be forever pure and worthy in His sight.

The journey has been gradual and I am still walking it day by day, constantly reminding myself that Jesus longs for my attention, no matter what the state of my heart or mind.

"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4: 4-6